Most people are very good at settling in relationships.
Taking what they can get is what they do, especially when their standards are low as their self-esteem. We all want to be loved, but we don’t all believe we deserve it.
Under those circumstances, settling for the love we can get still seems like a better idea than the alternative where we feel like we are not worthy of love at all.
At the same time, we can’t afford to lose ourselves.
We learned to create boundaries and maintain the life we built while sharing it with a partner.
We had to learn how to be a partner — to communicate more and participate in confronting conflict as it came up.
We kept growing, continually surprised that they expect nothing less and never asked us to stop.
But, in the beginning, We were anxious. Once we realize we Love them, We panicked that we could lose them.
The greater the love the more risk there was that we could be hurt.
The idea of experiencing this loss was overwhelming — even though it was all in our heads.
We get anxious. we begin to over-think and — sometimes — overreact.
We think love hurts because we were so afraid of loss that we began trying to protect ourselves from it.
We need to learn how to simply be in a relationship without thinking we have to get somewhere or prepare ourselves for an ending.
Begin to learn what it is to exist inside a relationship without being so destination-driven that you can’t focus.
Learn how to love without expecting them to leave (Yeah there are no guarantees) but don’t be stuck in that thought, caught up in a pain that hasn’t even happened.
If there’s anything you need to learn, It’s this:
When the love is strong and the relationship is healthy and you realize that there’s no goal better than loving ❤ each other every day.
Then, settle into it, enjoy it, stop carrying around the fear of past relationships.
Just be present for it.
Keep building the life you love and see where it takes you.
Keep enriching the partnership and see how it grows.
But let go of trying to control it.
Settle down. And maybe the love you’ve always wanted can finally flow naturally 💞💕…